literature

ALL I EVER WANTED- chapter 14

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~Wally~

"Ruby!" I coughed madly, drowning in a sea of people and pokemon alike, whose expressions help nothing but aggravation and scorn. It was as if they were all pitying me, shunning me for my life, jolting be back and forth with silent electric zaps that flew through the air and struck diligently. I could feel something snapping at my feet from below, some strange clinking sound from above, and most importantly a horrific smell of blood and loss.

I watched in peril as the people around me swarmed, losing interest in me and moving on with their lives. Didn't they smell it? Didn't they hear me scream? I wasn't stopping that was for sure… I was only getting louder, begging anyone to help me find Ruby. With a sharp beeping in the back of my skull I was slowly growing faint.

"Ruby…" I rocked on my heels, back and forth and stumbling amongst a crowd. The city people shouted and barked at me with glinting teeth and suddenly bright red eyes. I was so confused… and scared. It was like I could actually see the inner turmoil that all these innocent people had accumulated over years of living with such hate towards one another.

I stormed through the crowds, wiping my teary eyes and rasping. "Ruby… Ruby where are you?"

But there was no answer, and everyone seemed to grow cold and dark. Not a single person let me get by without a hostile glare. Some smiled evilly with large, jutting teeth that stuck out like those of my Salamence's. I was so confused… so confused…

"Wally…"

My name was spoken so softly from somewhere. It danced in the city air and made me shiver. From somewhere beyond my vision I was seeing Ruby's sharp features and gentle disposition. I was hearing his silence, feeling his chatter, and trying to catch my breath as much as I could. One by one as I whirled frantically everyone around me seemed to turn to dust. My hand would brush them, and they would explode into a puff of ash or smog or chemicals. I felt my lungs tighten at all the new smells, and my chest seemed to beg for mercy.

I tried not to hit any of the red eyed city folk, I tried not to get too so close as to come in contact with anyone, but it seemed they all wanted me to stop breathing. Everyone turned in my direction and started touching me, making the trails of soot slither down my skin hotly. Tiny pillows of smoke rose to meet my nostrils and for a moment I was absolutely lost in haze. I could feel a layer of it over my eyeballs for Arceus' sake, and it stung like no one's business.

"RUBY!" I cried, unable to see clearly. "Ru—I cut off in a fit of gasping and heaving. The familiar salt altered smell of blood clogged up my sinuses and before I knew it, I was spewing blood like a faucet would water.

The city space seemed to disappear at that, and the ash covered floor swelled around me, greeted by the hot liquid. I had never had a nosebleed so bad before, and there was no stopping it. The ash rose with the flow of the thick stuff, and my ankles were lapped at. Suddenly, walls closing in, blackness flooded with red dots of forgotten people's pupils glaring down at me, and panic stricken to no end… I found myself drowning in my own blood.

It happened in the blink of an eye, and like the first time, the last time, and every time in between, I clutched at my chest in horror. This was it; this was my blood soaked ashy death that would steal me away from this world. I could only hope that Arceus had thought well of me in my time there.

And then my eyes were snapping open.

I let out a terrified gasp for air, and found it chugging into my lungs almost too quickly. I trembled and shook and stared above me for a long moment at the unfamiliar hospital ceiling. The beeping in the back of my head was no longer a part of my nightmare, but a lifesaving machine telling me that I was still alive.

All was silent aside from that beeping, and even my breaths seemed to calm the dark room. I blinked, found my body at last, and moved to bring my weak arms up to cover my face. The right side moved perfectly fine, but at the feeling of extra weight on my left hand caught me off guard. I strained my eyes from the ceiling and looked beside me.

"I'm still dreaming…" I said under my breath, looking at the shoulders of Ruby, hunched over at my side with his hand strewn across the top of mine. Hurt swelled in my chest and I had to fight a wave of emotions coming over me. This was worse nightmare than drowning in your own blood… and yet I knew I didn't want it to stop. I never wanted to wake up if dreams were where Ruby would stay with me.

I sighed, but was extremely cautious not to move my left hand out from under his. I wasn't sure why—this was my dream—I couldn't wake him up against unless it was part of my thoughts. I rolled to my side and pulled my right hand over me, reached forward to where his head was pressed against the side of my uncomfortable hospital bed. Gently I let my finger play in the short locks of his soot colored hair. He didn't move at first, but once my loving strokes grew too endearing I felt him twitch.

"Ruby…" I whispered to the dream. "I—I'm sorry… I know… I'm not good enough to be in your world. I know I just hold you back. I'm sorry I can't be your Sapphire." The emotions sure felt real in this moment. What a dream I was having… with the light coming in from the slits in the blinds and the beeping machines and the tang of medicine all around me. It was like I was actually there.

And I hurt… not physically but mentally. I had never felt this kind of pain in a dream before. It shook me from the inside out and made me want to break down and cry (which didn't sound too horrible at the moment.)

It was pretty understandable too, for having the day that I did. I was absolutely justified in having a mental breakdown now. If I had been a weaker person, I would have already.

Today I had another attack, and I was taken to this too-clean-too-spot on hospital where I knew no one. I didn't have the slightest clue of whose hands I was in, or who would even try to care about me. It was one of the worst things I have ever experienced… knowing that your doctors don't really care how you are, but rather if they are getting paid for the day. It willed me alive, but shattered more sensitive areas in me.

"Why did you leave me?" I mumbled when my thoughts grew back on track. Hurt and pain and every other emotion I had in me seemed to flounder. It was a needy sensation, something telling me I needed to just let it all out now and get it over with. I could hear the beeping of my heart grow wilder with every breath. I was frantic.

"Ruby—I—I'm scared here alone. I—I don't like the city. I don't belong here—I—I can't—I don't want to—go home—without—

A faint moan came from the body sleeping beside me. I forced myself to stop speaking at the sound, but my breaths hadn't stopped. I got the feeling that I was now turning this dream over to a real nightmare. Surely at any given moment my nose would explode with blood again. I watched as Ruby dragged his head up from my bedside and blinked at me. My hand was still touching the side of his head tenderly.

It was a dream… I could do whatever I wanted… right?

Well I cried. Right there in front of Ruby's face with a stupid oxygen machine ringing tube up to my nose. For once so much air actually hurt in my chest, and I wished that I was back in my small town hospital with familiar faces looking down at me. I hiccupped and rasped and released Ruby with a cough. He just stared down at me, the seven layers of emotional hell across his face.  His eyes were very dark, and I could see the redness in his eyes. Suddenly it all just seemed so real to me.

Wake up! Wake up Wally! I ordered to myself. I would rather be alone than let him see me like this!

"Wally…" His voice cracked when he spoke. "Wally I—I'm so sorry."

I turned my eyes away from his and forced it into the hard pillow below me. "I—I—

I couldn't speak…

"Wally…" his voice stung me like a beedrill and I flinched. "Just—I—know it was wrong… I'm so stupid, I'm sorry."

Flustered and embarrassed I ripped the tubes from my nose and threw them at the floor beside me. The machine hissed and squealed with anger in response.

I sobbed into the pillow with horror, thinking that I had to wake up; somehow, someway I would wake up and be back in the field by the lake with Ruby. This whole day just wouldn't have happened and we would be together and happy and I could listen to him sing at night like a songbird. It was a dream… just a dream…

The palm and fingers of a very solid hand gathered itself between my shoulders and the small of my back, it stayed hesitantly for a second, debating on whether or not to ruin my life any more than it already had. Shaking I waited, trying to stop the horribly loud noises I was making. The hand moved, slowly but surely up the length of my back and back down again.

"I—I don't expect you to forgive me." He was strangled with his own grief. "I—I just had to… apologize… I—I will leave now… if… y—you want."

And break my heart more? Why Ruby? Why would I want that? What I wanted was to demand some sense from him. Did he show up here just to make me cry and then leave again? Hysteria was on the line now, and sanity, and my own well being. The hand disappeared off of me and I whimpered.

"N—N—No!" I grit my teeth together and strung myself upwards with as much dignity as I could gather. My hair was greasy and sticking to my wet face. "Don—Don't le—leave m—me." I forced myself to look in his direction.

He was at my bedside, standing with glossy eyes and fighting against it so harshly.

"Thi—this is- isn't a—a—dre—dream?" I whispered. "I—Is i—It?"

Ruby just shook his head, unable to speak with so many emotions in the air. It was thick enough to cut with a knife, silent all but for my ragged breaths and sniffling and my heartbeat. I was faced with the cold hard truth.

This wasn't a dream. I couldn't diagnose my problems as a nightmare that I would wake up from. No—I was faced with the pain in knowing that Ruby—the one person I thought would never turn his back on me—had left me passed out in the hands of strangers. He abandoned me…

He hugged me…

So tight that I thought my ribs were going to snap and my lungs were going to pop. His muscular arms came around my skinny frame and he knelt over the bed in desperation.

"I'm sorry!" he begged, seeing as though I hadn't yet forgiven him, and I wasn't sure I could. His tears felt warm on my shoulder where they fell, and slithering down my back made me loosen. I was shaky, trying to breathe in the regular air that never seemed to affect anyone but me. The smell of Ruby clogged my nose and turned me inside out with dizziness.

He smelt of trees and grass and men's deodorant. I had to wonder where he had been because of that, since last time I saw him was hours ago running through the sweat stinking streets with me hot on his heels.

"Forgive me." He begged. "I—I don't know what happened back there" He dug the balls of his fingers into my back and tightened himself around me, one knee on the bed that I slept in. I shivered as he pressed his hot cheek against my own and a tear drop slithered past. I wasn't sure if it was his or my own, but it was there, wetting the skin of us both in such a way that I couldn't help but melt in response.

My shoulders slumped forward into him until it wasn't him on me, but me embracing him with all my heart. I couldn't help but realize how much I had wanted this since the moment I met him. It was as if he had become my personal Eden in this world of hell I was fighting day after day. Eighteen years of fighting illness and I was just now finding someone else to live for. Not only myself, but for him too. I had already said this once—and it hadn't changed—but I would take a bullet for him.

I just wished he would do the same for me…

More than anything in the world actually. I would spend the rest of my life fighting the air if I could just know that Ruby would truly always be there for me. After what happened today though… how could I know that?

I knew I couldn't, and yet I couldn't find the strength in me to even begin to tell him how I was feelings. Heartbroken… I would take every disease and illness on the planet over this kind of emotional pain. I wasn't good with it, let alone stable enough to handle it. I would crash and burn without Ruby. My world had shifted; it was leaning against him now, like me on his shoulder.

"What do I have to do—to show you that I'm sorry?" Ruby begged.

I wasn't sure what compelled me in that particular moment, while fresh tears swelled under my eyes and slipped across my cheeks, but I pulled back away from him and met his eyes. There was something different about his eyes today… something weaker, more subject to pain. It was like al later of armor had been stripped away from his emotions. He never looked so fragile before.

I just sat there panting at him for a long moment, staring into his eyes and thinking about everything that happened and everything I had been feeling since the moment I met him over two weeks ago. We had been through so much together already… and no doubt I had been playing with ideas in my head for far too long. What I wanted—more than anything else—was to know he cared about me. We made that clear right? But he didn't understand.

This wasn't your run of the mill care that most people held for their friends. This care was far more than that. I wanted him to care about me like he cared about Sapphire—no—more than Sapphire. I wanted him to text me throughout the daytime if I wasn't with him. I wanted him to worry about me and wonder what I was doing. I wanted to see that undying jealousy when I was with anyone else. I just wanted Ruby.

I took one long forced breath and let it out slowly- shaking and gathering myself as best I could. I wiped my arm across my eyes once carefully and then bit my lower lip.

"Ruby—I—I…"

He waited for a second, eyes sagging in hopelessness. "I know." He whispered. "I know you can't forgive me."

I shook my head. "I just want—I—I want—to—

He lifted a  his hand from where they fell in his lap and brought it forward, to rest in my space on top of my own. I felt a thunder roll from deep within me and it made my head whirl. His thumb stroked the top of mine, rendering me helpless from all sanity. My heart was running on one hundred percent now, while my normally rational brain was totally fizzed out.

"Kiss me." I blurted unexpectedly, and then—as if to contradict myself—I bit down hard on the insides of my lips and squeezed my eye shut.

Rejection… Here it comes… I almost turned and forced my head into the pillow again, it would be safer that way.

Neither of us spoke for a very painfully long moment, while he contemplated just what the hell was wrong with me. It was as if everything that he ever knew was changing. I could feel it in the awkward silence. Cut the air with a knife why don't you? I hated myself, I hated hated hated that I couldn't control these feelings. Ruby loved Sapphire… not me.

I was so prepared for rejection in that moment that everything seemed to be twisted in a demonic way. My tight lips, his sensitive eyes, my own horrific heartbeat, even my lungs seemed to be twisted out of place. I wondered what I had done wrong, and why? Most importantly why…

It seemed there was a revelation in order for today. Since I was expected one thing with all my heart, and finding it completely different.

Apparently rejection didn't hurt. Apparently rejection was warm and fluttery and softer than I could have imagined. Rejection was not the agony people exclaimed it to be. It was moving, slowly, fluently, kneading on the fleshy walls I put up in defense. Rejection was so scarce actually, that I couldn't realize that it wasn't even rejection I was feeling.

"I—I think you—uhh… have to open—your mouth—to—to kiss, Wally."

My eyes shot open in alarm, and just like that my jaw dropped and my mouth indeed did open, in the shape of a small O. That wasn't rejection just now… that was devotion.

Ruby had the most nervous expression across his face as he leaned into my shock, lifting his hands and holding the sides of my jaw as if it were made of glass about to shatter. I couldn't close my eyes again, so he closed his instead. And the raw taste of lips on lips hit me like a ton of bricks.

Now I knew I was dreaming…

But not really…

Ruby was kissing me… that was all I knew actually. That and that it caused my heartbeat to splutter and spin out of control.

He moved his hands after our lips met, and didn't seem to know what to do with them. Mine were partially in his lap, partially in mine. It was a dead weight I couldn't lift no matter how badly I wanted to grip him by the back of the neck. The blood rushed to my face and I was pushing against him, leaning upwards as he held steady. I almost managed to push out my bottom lip and gather his between my tongue, but he pulled away too quickly, leaving me gasping and shaking.

It was the most awkward, horrible, teeth-clacking-against-teeth kiss the world had probably ever seen. But it was still a kiss none the less, which meant that he would rather stoop to my pathetic level than know I didn't forgive him. Which was horrible. Of course I would have forgiven him… but this… this was better.

My mouth was only merely perched by the time he pulled away—which was only after a second or two—and I realized that I could never master such a technique like he did with only a few seconds. This daunted me. I wanted to tell him to kiss me again—I needed to know how to do it—but he would never go for it.

His face was red as a cheri berry and only growing hotter. He pulled away with a disgusted look on his face, and I was so mortified for all of about a thirtieth of a second, thinking that he was so repulsed by my lack of skill that he was actually regretting it.

Ruby smeared his head across the bottom of his nose and blinked in confusion. My hand instantly snapped up to find the source. Bloody nose…again. Why? Why did this have to happen to me every time?

"Dammit." I moaned in a weak voice as the blood started to flow freely from my face with no sign of stopping. I hung my head and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Sho—should I call a nurse?" Ruby suggested with a small voice. I got the feeling he thought he had a nosebleed at first. And he actually sounded a little relieved, despite that being the most awkward, awful, and conniving make-up kiss I could AND would ever pull… he sounded somewhat better. His tears stopped.

"Na—no!" I held my palm up in a cup shape and threw the sheets off of my legs. I had that thing clipped to my wrist measuring my pulse—which was still rapid— but it snapped right off as I tugged and bounded away, heading for the tiny bathroom in the corner of the room. It was blocked by a single curtain and I was so modest that I actually closed it behind me when I went in.

I coughed and hacked up more blood than I had in a long time, proving that this was by far one of the worst nose bleeds I had ever gotten. I managed a small look at myself in the mirror between hanging my head over the sink.

Despite it all actually I couldn't say I looked too horrible. Just physically like I had been hit by a truck. Which was ok for me. My eyes were bright and wild, and while I stared back at them I realized that this was both so wrong and so right. How could one person hold so much power over me? No one had ever been able to do that before…

And yet he could… And I loved it…

I loved him…

"Are you alright in there?" His voice came to me, and though he was still shaky sounding, I was relieved to find that a certain tone of friendship had returned. I pictured us by the lake in the tall grass, him with his shirt off and me with my nose bleeding. He had laughed so carefree then, and I couldn't see anything else in my head. There was no image of him upset there. Just happiness.

"Ru—Ruby?" I called between breaths and blowing blood out my nose. My heart fluttered as I said his name.

The curtain draw back quickly as if he had been standing behind it. He looked in the mirror at me with another nervous expression. "Yeah…?"

I almost laughed, though I couldn't particularly understand what was so funny. It was either medication or me still coming down off the high he had given me. "Ca—can you get my inhaler?" I asked almost sheepishly.

I watched in the mirror as he rolled his eyes and turned to go find my backpack where the silver item was placed. He knew where it was by now—he seemed to have always known where it was, though I never exactly told him. I heard the zipper of the backpack as I concentrated on my breathing. Air… breathe… in…out.

"Wally!"

I jumped nearly a mile at the sound of him shouting my name.

"What?" I hung myself over the sink and peered around backwards to look at the room. He stood rigid, hands up in what seemed to be a mock surrender. I blinked in confusion.

"You—you have to see this." He squeaked back at me.

"What is it?" I wasn't exactly ready to walk over to him yet. I would leak blood all over the floor.

"The egg…"

"What?"

"The egg!" he whirled to come back to me, grasping the whole backpack in his hands. His face was tinted white with shock—and I realized that could only mean one thing.

"It hatched?!" I coughed and pinched my nose tighter. I was silently willing it to stop bleeding. Excitement rose in me. This was the sixth pokemon I had ever hatched and I had absolutely no clue what pokemon it could be.

"Yeah…" he held up the backpack in his arms and drew back largest zipper pocket to reveal the large broken pieces of our blue and black egg. It no longer glittered in certain patches, and looked all around dead.

My eye grew wide with wonder, and I felt suddenly all choked up again. Blood dripping and throat tight I peered down into the depths of my backpack.

Nestled between the egg shell and a jacket I stuffed in the bottom for padding, was a pokemon no bigger than my two hands together. It was tiny and black and making angry little snuffling noises.

What a moment to hatch… right in the middle of all this mess and just in time to make things a whole lot better. A huge stupid grin spread across my face for the first time in what felt like a century. I looked up at Ruby's petrified expression and laughed slightly.

"We—we're parents."
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 :iconfinallyplz:


How many of you freaked out when you saw the chapter picture??? hehehe <3 i hope you did~

Arceus this chapter started out so horrible and ended up so happy <3 <3 <3 <3 oh though i have to tell you that this is just the beginning of some more... confusion... and a little bit more heartache, but nothing too bad... i think ^^; hehehe~

So Ruby got his first kiss :3 and Wally... yeah well hes had more :iconkissingplz: from you fans than anything... xD

Wally is a sneaky little devil guys ;) look at his hand placement~ :iconpervywally-plz:

:iconwallymitsuruplz: :iconsaysplz: :iconnosebleedingplz:


pokemon belongs to nintendo
writing and artwork belongs to me
© 2012 - 2024 w0lf--61
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CatdogAndYahwehRock's avatar
This is amazing
So very cute